At Tarneit Skies Retirement Village, we had an Australia Day celebration. It was organised by Pat Hickey with a large group of assistants.
About 145 people attended showing that the residents of the Village supported the celebration enthusiastically.
My photos can be found at this link
To whet your appetite here is a slide show of the pictures:
As can be seen from the pictures, tables had been set up for all those attending.
The celebration was started by a stirring rendition of the National Anthem.
The first activity was the thong and gumboot throw. Women threw a thong (foot variety) men threw a "gumboot" (small variety). The aim was to land the object in a bucket. None of the men were successful, but two women succeeded: Pam Radford and Judy Barned.
The video below shows a small part of the thong and gumboot throw. Click on the play button to view it.
Meat and chicken platters were provided and residents bought plates of salad and desert. Consequently the buffet table was heavily laden with luscious food. We all ate our fill (and a bit more for some of us).
The steady hum of conversation around the tables showed that everyone was having a great time and it sometimes gave Pat a challenge to be heard as he made his announcements.
Pat had provided a "show bag" of activities for each person attending which contained a wide range of interesting items. These included gap fill exercises for Banjo Patterson's poem Clancy of the Overflow and a quiz. See this link for electronic version of some of the activities.
Pat had organised a large number of prizes for the raffle and many people received an extra surprise when their ticket was drawn from the box.
Although there was a residents' meeting in the Community Centre in June 2007, this was the first activity in the Centre since it has become habitable.
We all had a great time, and for me as a new resident, it was fantastic to be able to attend such a great party and then walk home!
Monday, January 28, 2008
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Book Review : The Broken Shore
The author of The Broken Shore , Peter Temple, was born in South Africa. Temple arrived in Sydney in 1980 and worked as a journalist, later moving to Melbourne to edit Australian Society magazine. He then turned to teaching playing an important role in establishing the prestigious Professional Writing and Editing course at RMIT University. In 1995, he retired from teaching to became a self-employed editor and full-time writer.
I found his explanation, to Romana Koval, for leaving teaching interesting, it goes without saying that I did not make the same choice:
Temple's previous books include: The Iron Rose, Shooting Star and In The Evil Day. He developed a character called Jack Irish who is a lawyer, gambler and private eye. The Jack Irish books are Bad Debts, Black Tide, Dead Point and White Dog.
I first became aware of Temple and this book when it was discussed on The First Tuesday Book Club on ABC Television.
Another ABC book show is Ramona Koval's Book Show on Radio National. Koval interviewed Peter Temple on the show and summarised the plot as follows:
This is a crime novel, its hero is a detective and it does involve a crime. As well it won the UK Crime Writers Association's prestigious Duncan Lawrie Dagger Award, also known as the Gold Dagger, claiming £20,000 ($A47,400) in the process.
In winning the award Temple is in top company as previous winners include Patricia Cornwell, Dick Francis, Ian Rankin, John Le Carre and Ruth Rendell.
The Broken Shore transcends the genre though with its exploration of character and setting, and its beautiful descriptive writing. It is a literary work masquerading as a crime novel.
Temple's major aim with the novel was to set it in a small seaside town, with the central character returning after building a career in the city to find that all the rottenness of the city could be found in this small town where he grew up. This required a more complex evocation of the rural community that is usually found in crime novels. The following is taken from a longer description of the town, pp 58 - 60.
Much of the book moves with the leisurely pace of literature. Temple deliberately inserted quiet moments into the book to "give it air". Often these quiet moments involve Cashin walking his dogs. He introduced the dogs in the first two paragraphs of the book"
Reading the book, it sometimes seemed like a sequel; that Cashin's injuries both physical and psychic had been chronicled in a previous book. He does mention Rai Saris a number of times before describing how his injuries were caused in a surveillance of Saris the violent criminal. We have to wait until page 192 for this information. Temple leaves material out and the reader has to fill in the gaps; the story has no beginning or end, the author just chooses an arbitrary point to start. Another way of putting it is that the book describes as Marieke Hardy noted on First Tuesday Book Club,a pocket of time.
Related to this method is that there are loose ends not 'tied up with a bow' at the conclusion of the book. There is something artificial in stories where all mysteries are resolved. A few years ago we saw the film Broken Flowers starring Bill Murray. Nothing is resolved in that film but that leaves plenty to discuss and ponder after the film is finished. The loose ends in The Broken Shore give a sense of reality to the story. There might be a sequel to this book in the offing which might through light on some of the mysteries. There have been suggestions on some websites that Temple is writing a book with some of the characters from The Broken Shore though it seems not Cashin.
In the interview with Koval Temple discussed his approach to writing the book. He said that he started by 'taking it out for a walk'. As he explained:
I really enjoyed this book and thoroughly recommend it
I found his explanation, to Romana Koval, for leaving teaching interesting, it goes without saying that I did not make the same choice:
At the point in which you are old enough to be the father of your students you should leave the room immediately. It's not a good moment. ... Until that point arrives you see yourself as primus inter pares, just the leader of the pack, and after that you start seeing yourself as some sort of patriarchal figure. In other words, they're looking at you, 'This guy is as old as my dad,' and I found that quite disconcerting. So as soon as I became conscious of it I stopped.
Temple's previous books include: The Iron Rose, Shooting Star and In The Evil Day. He developed a character called Jack Irish who is a lawyer, gambler and private eye. The Jack Irish books are Bad Debts, Black Tide, Dead Point and White Dog.
I first became aware of Temple and this book when it was discussed on The First Tuesday Book Club on ABC Television.
Another ABC book show is Ramona Koval's Book Show on Radio National. Koval interviewed Peter Temple on the show and summarised the plot as follows:
The Broken Shore ... is set in a small coastal community which in summer is a holiday village and in winter reverts to its bare bones. This spells development money, old rivalries, small town intrigues, and a turf war. The poor Aboriginal community in the vicinity provides a background setting for racism, blame and breakouts of violence.
Into this mix walks Joe Cashin, who was born here but went away to become a city homicide cop. After an injury on the job, he is sent back to the town to be a country cop, to restore his family home and to walk his pair of poodles - and to listen to opera and read books by Conrad, Mailer and Truman Capote. Then a prominent local man is bashed and left for dead.
This is a crime novel, its hero is a detective and it does involve a crime. As well it won the UK Crime Writers Association's prestigious Duncan Lawrie Dagger Award, also known as the Gold Dagger, claiming £20,000 ($A47,400) in the process.
In winning the award Temple is in top company as previous winners include Patricia Cornwell, Dick Francis, Ian Rankin, John Le Carre and Ruth Rendell.
The Broken Shore transcends the genre though with its exploration of character and setting, and its beautiful descriptive writing. It is a literary work masquerading as a crime novel.
Temple's major aim with the novel was to set it in a small seaside town, with the central character returning after building a career in the city to find that all the rottenness of the city could be found in this small town where he grew up. This required a more complex evocation of the rural community that is usually found in crime novels. The following is taken from a longer description of the town, pp 58 - 60.
A fishing boat was coming in, heading for the entrance. ... Just six boats still fished out of Port Monro, bringing in crayfish and a few boxes of fish ...
He drove along two sides of the business block, past the two supermarkets, the three real-estate agents, three doctors, two law firms, the newsagent, the sports shop, the Shannon Hotel ...
In the late 1990, a city drug dealer and property developer had bought the boarded-up, gull-crapped Shannon. People still talked about a bar fight there in 1969 that needed two ambulaces from Cromarty to take the injured to hospital. ... The new owner spent more than two million dollars on the Shannon. Tradesmen took on apprentices, bought new utes, gave their wives new kitchens - the German appliances, the granite benchtops.
...
Winter setting in. He thought about summer, the town full of spoilt-rotten city children, their blond mothers, flabby fathers in boat shoes. ... The men sat in and outside the cafes, stood in the shops hands to heads, barking orders into their mobiles, pulling faces.
But the year had turned, May had come, the ice-water rain, the winds that scoured skin, and just the hardcore left - the unemployed, under-employed, unemployable, the drunk and doped, the old-age pensioners ...
Much of the book moves with the leisurely pace of literature. Temple deliberately inserted quiet moments into the book to "give it air". Often these quiet moments involve Cashin walking his dogs. He introduced the dogs in the first two paragraphs of the book"
CHASHIN WALKED around the hill, into the wind from the sea. It was cold, late autumn, last glowing leaves clinging to the liquidambers and maples his great-grandfather's brother had planted, their surrender close. He loved this time, the morning stillness, loved it more than spring.
The dogs were tiring now but still hunting the ground, noses down, taking more time to sniff, less hopeful. Then one picked up a scent and, new life in their legs, they loped for the trees, vanished.
Reading the book, it sometimes seemed like a sequel; that Cashin's injuries both physical and psychic had been chronicled in a previous book. He does mention Rai Saris a number of times before describing how his injuries were caused in a surveillance of Saris the violent criminal. We have to wait until page 192 for this information. Temple leaves material out and the reader has to fill in the gaps; the story has no beginning or end, the author just chooses an arbitrary point to start. Another way of putting it is that the book describes as Marieke Hardy noted on First Tuesday Book Club,a pocket of time.
Related to this method is that there are loose ends not 'tied up with a bow' at the conclusion of the book. There is something artificial in stories where all mysteries are resolved. A few years ago we saw the film Broken Flowers starring Bill Murray. Nothing is resolved in that film but that leaves plenty to discuss and ponder after the film is finished. The loose ends in The Broken Shore give a sense of reality to the story. There might be a sequel to this book in the offing which might through light on some of the mysteries. There have been suggestions on some websites that Temple is writing a book with some of the characters from The Broken Shore though it seems not Cashin.
In the interview with Koval Temple discussed his approach to writing the book. He said that he started by 'taking it out for a walk'. As he explained:
When I say 'take it for a walk' it's the way of getting things started. As it develops its own momentum, I'm forced to backtrack always and to go back and tidy things up and do things again. At the end I'm forced to go back and see, to my own satisfaction, that it doesn't look as if it's been taken for a walk. I want it to have cohesion and I want it to have continuity and I want the narrative to drag the reader along if possible, but it's possible to do those things in retrospect, as it were, to go back and have another stab at it. But it's about just getting the vehicle moving for me, and that I have to do in a blundering and blindfolded way. The plot will reveal itself if you nag at it long enough.
I really enjoyed this book and thoroughly recommend it
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Shows we have seen
Although Margaret and I have been seeing shows for more than 20 years, the list below is only those since August 2007.
The Glass Soldier
LaLaLuna
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe?
War of the Worlds
Cosi Fan Tute
The Madwoman of Chaillot
Priscilla The Musical
Spamalot
Don Juan In Soho
The Season At Sarsaparilla
The Queen of Bingo
The Club
Love Song
Holding the Man
The 39 Steps
Flamenco Fire
Frost / Nixon
The Glass Soldier
LaLaLuna
Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolfe?
War of the Worlds
Cosi Fan Tute
The Madwoman of Chaillot
Priscilla The Musical
Spamalot
Don Juan In Soho
The Season At Sarsaparilla
The Queen of Bingo
The Club
Love Song
Holding the Man
The 39 Steps
Flamenco Fire
Frost / Nixon
Theatre Review : Don Juan in Soho
This was the first show of the new MTC season, the first show we attended from Tarneit, and our first MTC matinee.
We had lunch in the Care Vic which as usual was a pleasant experience.
The show was in the Fairfax Studio.
The first thing we noticed as we entered the theatre was the simplicity of the stage design, ie virtually none. As the show progressed the setting of each scene was suggested by a smallish backdrop.
There have been many interpretations of the Don Juan story. The first seems to have been published in 1630, by de Molina, though its most famous incarnations were in Moliere's play, ou Le festin de pierre, Mozart's opera Don Giovanni and Byron's epic poem, Don Juan. In the Wikipedia article on Don Juan over 70 plays, films or books are recorded as derived from the Don Juan story.
Don Juan is usually portrayed in one of two ways:
Moliere and Mozart's versions fall into the first category while Byron's the second.
In his updated version Patrick Marber set the action in Soho. A modern twist is that Don Juan is called DJ. His plot largely follows that of Moliere. (For a summary of Moliere's play follow this link.)
The play is hugely entertaining with one of the most comic scenes occurring in a hospital waiting room. Previous to this scene DJ has met a couple who are to be engaged on a boat on the river. DJ decided to gate crash the party and seduce the girl. In the process he manages to sink the boat. He is rescued by a passer by and all are taken to the hospital. DJ seduces the girlfriend of his rescuer who performs fellatio on him relatively discretely (her head under a blanket). At the same time DJ attempts to chat up the fiancee from the boat, even though she is distraught as her lover is probably dying in a near by room. Very dark but very funny.
A great afternoon at the theatre.
We had lunch in the Care Vic which as usual was a pleasant experience.
The show was in the Fairfax Studio.
The first thing we noticed as we entered the theatre was the simplicity of the stage design, ie virtually none. As the show progressed the setting of each scene was suggested by a smallish backdrop.
There have been many interpretations of the Don Juan story. The first seems to have been published in 1630, by de Molina, though its most famous incarnations were in Moliere's play, ou Le festin de pierre, Mozart's opera Don Giovanni and Byron's epic poem, Don Juan. In the Wikipedia article on Don Juan over 70 plays, films or books are recorded as derived from the Don Juan story.
Don Juan is usually portrayed in one of two ways:
- a simple, lustful womanizer and cruel seducer who gets sex wherever he can
- a man who genuinely loves every woman he seduces, with the gift to see the true beauty and intrinsic value of every woman
Moliere and Mozart's versions fall into the first category while Byron's the second.
In his updated version Patrick Marber set the action in Soho. A modern twist is that Don Juan is called DJ. His plot largely follows that of Moliere. (For a summary of Moliere's play follow this link.)
The play is hugely entertaining with one of the most comic scenes occurring in a hospital waiting room. Previous to this scene DJ has met a couple who are to be engaged on a boat on the river. DJ decided to gate crash the party and seduce the girl. In the process he manages to sink the boat. He is rescued by a passer by and all are taken to the hospital. DJ seduces the girlfriend of his rescuer who performs fellatio on him relatively discretely (her head under a blanket). At the same time DJ attempts to chat up the fiancee from the boat, even though she is distraught as her lover is probably dying in a near by room. Very dark but very funny.
| Dan Wyllie plays DJ with verve and gusto, see photo opposite Daniel Frederiksen is a natural as Don Juan's factotum Stan Christen O'Leary plays the girlfriend of the rescuer Katie-Jean Harding generates impassioned pathos as the jilted Elvira Bob Hornery plays DJ's confused father |  |
A great afternoon at the theatre.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Mystery Trip
Today we went on a Mystery Bus Trip organised by Tarneit Skies.
The trip was free, all that we had to pay for was morning tea and lunch.
There was considerable discussion about our destination as we drove out of The Village, including Bendigo, Ballarat and the Mornington Peninsular. It soon became obvious that we were headed north as we travelled north along Derrimut Rd. Margaret and I had planned to investigate the section of Derrimut Rd north of Dohertys Rd and here was our chance.
Our driver was careful to keep our destination secret as long as possible as he travelled along secondary roads that many of us had never seen before. This reminded me of the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance which involves travel across the US only on secondary roads, as they are far more interesting.
The map below shows the route we took.
Zoom in and out by clicking on the plus or minus signs, or by double clicking on a location. Move the map by clicking on an arrow key or by clicking and dragging with the mouse. Click on each of the place holders for details.
View Larger Map
We had morning tea at Woodend - tea or coffee and Scones, Jam and Cream.
At Kyneton we visited Kyneton Fine China which produces fine china pieces that were hand painted. We watched one of the proprietors painting one of the pieces. Every one was impressed with the quality and some of our number bought items.
Lunch was at the Kyneton RSL. We arrived 20 minutes early for pre-dinner drinks and of cause the pokies. Some of our group came out well ahead when they left the gaming room. No names no pack drill.
Most of us chose from the Specials Board, with the Risotto and Fish and Chips particular favourites.
I expected that we would head back home after lunch, but instead we drove west from Kyneton and ended up at the Chocolate Mill, which imports Belgian chocolate and makes chocolates by hand.
We then returned home after a very happy day.
It is great to go on a trip like this, where the driving and navigation are someone else's problem, and where it is possible to have a drink at lunchtime without concern for safely driving home.
The trip was free, all that we had to pay for was morning tea and lunch.
There was considerable discussion about our destination as we drove out of The Village, including Bendigo, Ballarat and the Mornington Peninsular. It soon became obvious that we were headed north as we travelled north along Derrimut Rd. Margaret and I had planned to investigate the section of Derrimut Rd north of Dohertys Rd and here was our chance.
Our driver was careful to keep our destination secret as long as possible as he travelled along secondary roads that many of us had never seen before. This reminded me of the book Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance which involves travel across the US only on secondary roads, as they are far more interesting.
The map below shows the route we took.
Zoom in and out by clicking on the plus or minus signs, or by double clicking on a location. Move the map by clicking on an arrow key or by clicking and dragging with the mouse. Click on each of the place holders for details.
View Larger Map
We had morning tea at Woodend - tea or coffee and Scones, Jam and Cream.
At Kyneton we visited Kyneton Fine China which produces fine china pieces that were hand painted. We watched one of the proprietors painting one of the pieces. Every one was impressed with the quality and some of our number bought items.
Lunch was at the Kyneton RSL. We arrived 20 minutes early for pre-dinner drinks and of cause the pokies. Some of our group came out well ahead when they left the gaming room. No names no pack drill.
Most of us chose from the Specials Board, with the Risotto and Fish and Chips particular favourites.
I expected that we would head back home after lunch, but instead we drove west from Kyneton and ended up at the Chocolate Mill, which imports Belgian chocolate and makes chocolates by hand.
We then returned home after a very happy day.
It is great to go on a trip like this, where the driving and navigation are someone else's problem, and where it is possible to have a drink at lunchtime without concern for safely driving home.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Nightfall by Asimov and BC 22 5866
In September 1941 Isaac Asimov published his short story Nightfall. (In 1990, two years before Asimov's death, he collaborated with author Robert Silverberg on a novel-length revision of the original story.)
The story was inspired by a quotation by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
The fictional planet Lagash (Kalgash in the novel adaptation) is located in a stellar system containing six stars (Onos, Dovim, Trey, Patru, Tano, and Sitha), which keep the whole planet continuously illuminated; total darkness is unknown, as are more distant stars.
A number of observations came together from academics in different departments of Soro University which lead to a startling conclusion:
If you haven't read the novel and you have a penchant for Science Fiction get it out of your library and have a read. The book is a psychological thriller, but the reason for my posting on it is astronomical.
The six stars in Kalgash's system are obviously very close together. The primary sun of Kalgash is about the same difference from its star as the Earth is from the Sun. The other distance mentioned is a binary system (two stars revolving around each other) that is just further away than Saturn in the Solar System. A multiple star system this compact seemed something of a stretch.
Recently a real system that is even more compact has been discovered. This is called by the exciting name, BC 22 5866, and consists of four stars.
Universe Today describes the system as follows:
One AU is almost 150,000,000 kilometres, so 0.06 AU is 9,000,000 Km. Given that our sun is 1.4 million kilometres in diametre, a separation of two stars by 9 million Kms is very close. The second pair are closer than As Mercury's distance from to the Sun is 0.36 AU, the second pair of stars in BC 225866 are closer than our sun to its nearest planet.
The stars in the system are too close to be resolved in the largest telescopes available. The configuration of the BC 225866 was determined by spectroscopic methods. It will provide plenty of food for thought for theorists.
The story was inspired by a quotation by Ralph Waldo Emerson:
If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God!
The fictional planet Lagash (Kalgash in the novel adaptation) is located in a stellar system containing six stars (Onos, Dovim, Trey, Patru, Tano, and Sitha), which keep the whole planet continuously illuminated; total darkness is unknown, as are more distant stars.
A number of observations came together from academics in different departments of Soro University which lead to a startling conclusion:
- A psychologist is studying the effects of prolonged exposure to darkness
- An archaelogist discovers evidence that civilisation has suffered multiple cyclical collapses about every 200 years
- A journalist has learned some of the ideas of the group known as the Apostles of Flame, who believe the world would be destroyed in a darkness with the appearance of Stars that unleash a torrent of fire
- An astronomer calculates that once every 2049 years when there is only one star in the sky an eclipse (by a dark moon circling the planet) will plunge Kalgash into darkness
If you haven't read the novel and you have a penchant for Science Fiction get it out of your library and have a read. The book is a psychological thriller, but the reason for my posting on it is astronomical.
The six stars in Kalgash's system are obviously very close together. The primary sun of Kalgash is about the same difference from its star as the Earth is from the Sun. The other distance mentioned is a binary system (two stars revolving around each other) that is just further away than Saturn in the Solar System. A multiple star system this compact seemed something of a stretch.
Recently a real system that is even more compact has been discovered. This is called by the exciting name, BC 22 5866, and consists of four stars.
Universe Today describes the system as follows:
The stars are paired up together into binary groupings, and then these two pairs orbit a common centre of gravity. One pair orbits each other in less than 5 days - at a distance of a mere 0.06 astronomical units (1 AU is the distance from the Earth to the Sun). The second pair takes 55 days to complete an orbit, at a distance of 0.26 AU.
And finally, the two pairs take about 9 years to orbit one another at a distance of 5.8 AU - within the orbit of Jupiter in our own Solar System.
One AU is almost 150,000,000 kilometres, so 0.06 AU is 9,000,000 Km. Given that our sun is 1.4 million kilometres in diametre, a separation of two stars by 9 million Kms is very close. The second pair are closer than As Mercury's distance from to the Sun is 0.36 AU, the second pair of stars in BC 225866 are closer than our sun to its nearest planet.
The stars in the system are too close to be resolved in the largest telescopes available. The configuration of the BC 225866 was determined by spectroscopic methods. It will provide plenty of food for thought for theorists.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Film Review: Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Unlike the other Movie Reviews that I have written so far on this blog, this is not a review of a movie that we have seen recently, instead I was reminded of it when we recently saw Spamalot.
It is, of cause, a cult classic though I have always thought that it was a bit hit and miss. Some scenes were laugh-out-loud funny while other fell completely flat.
The first scene begins:
[wind]
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
[clop clop]
GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign
of all England!
GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy.
We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord
and master.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'
'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this
land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
strangers to our land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
The idea of the knights miming riding on horses while their servants made clip clop sounds with two halves of a coconut was fun and original. The scene continues with the guards discussing how swallows could have carried a coconut to England.
Immediately following is the following scene:
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.
[clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.
That is funny all the way through and I particularly like the ending.
The next scene, though, is my favourite:
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind
you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By
exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!
If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take
it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,
[angels sing]
her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur
from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,
Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,
eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn't you?
Next is the Black Knight where Arthur hacks off all of the limbs of the Black Knight and moves on the Black Knight says:
Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!
Next follows the Witch scene, that includes:
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't... no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEMIR: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEMIR: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
Arthur receives his quest in a vision from God who is somewhat irritated:
GOD: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel! If
there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
ARTHUR: Sorry--
GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's
"sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy". What are you
doing now!?
ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord.
GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms-- they're so
depressing. Now knock it off!
ARTHUR: Yes, Lord.
GOD: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons -- your Knights of the Round
Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.
ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord!
GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! Arthur, this is the Holy
Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek
this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur -- the Quest for the
Holy Grail.
Arthur and his Knights are soon taunted by some Frenchmen in a castle, which includes the memorable:
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal
food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother
was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.
For me it is all down hill from here. I really don't get the Knights that say Nee, Tim the Enchanter, the Bridge of Death or the Rabbit.
Irrespective of the flat bits there are so many highlights that the film remains one of the all time classics.
It is, of cause, a cult classic though I have always thought that it was a bit hit and miss. Some scenes were laugh-out-loud funny while other fell completely flat.
The first scene begins:
[wind]
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Whoa there!
[clop clop]
GUARD #1: Halt! Who goes there?
ARTHUR: It is I, Arthur, son of Uther Pendragon, from the castle
of Camelot. King of the Britons, defeator of the Saxons, sovereign
of all England!
GUARD #1: Pull the other one!
ARTHUR: I am. And this my trusty servant Patsy.
We have ridden the length and breadth of the land in search of knights
who will join me in my court of Camelot. I must speak with your lord
and master.
GUARD #1: What, ridden on a horse?
ARTHUR: Yes!
GUARD #1: You're using coconuts!
ARTHUR: What?
GUARD #1: You've got two empty halves of coconut and you're bangin'
'em together.
ARTHUR: So? We have ridden since the snows of winter covered this
land, through the kingdom of Mercea, through--
GUARD #1: Where'd you get the coconut?
ARTHUR: We found them.
GUARD #1: Found them? In Mercea? The coconut's tropical!
ARTHUR: What do you mean?
GUARD #1: Well, this is a temperate zone.
ARTHUR: The swallow may fly south with the sun or the house martin
or the plumber may seek warmer climes in winter yet these are not
strangers to our land.
GUARD #1: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
ARTHUR: Not at all, they could be carried.
The idea of the knights miming riding on horses while their servants made clip clop sounds with two halves of a coconut was fun and original. The scene continues with the guards discussing how swallows could have carried a coconut to England.
Immediately following is the following scene:
Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER: Here's one -- nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go in the cart!
CUSTOMER: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't
be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to Robinson's -- they've lost nine
today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: You're not fooling anyone y'know. Look, isn't there
something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[whop]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much.
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.
[clop clop]
MORTICIAN: Who's that then?
CUSTOMER: I don't know.
MORTICIAN: Must be a king.
CUSTOMER: Why?
MORTICIAN: He hasn't got shit all over him.
That is funny all the way through and I particularly like the ending.
The next scene, though, is my favourite:
[clop clop]
ARTHUR: Old woman!
DENNIS: Man!
ARTHUR: Old Man, sorry. What knight live in that castle over there?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I'm thirty seven -- I'm not old!
ARTHUR: Well, I can't just call you `Man'.
DENNIS: Well, you could say `Dennis'.
ARTHUR: Well, I didn't know you were called `Dennis.'
DENNIS: Well, you didn't bother to find out, did you?
ARTHUR: I did say sorry about the `old woman,' but from the behind
you looked--
DENNIS: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior!
ARTHUR: Well, I AM king...
DENNIS: Oh king, eh, very nice. An' how'd you get that, eh? By
exploitin' the workers -- by 'angin' on to outdated imperialist dogma
which perpetuates the economic an' social differences in our society!
If there's ever going to be any progress--
WOMAN: Dennis, there's some lovely filth down here. Oh -- how d'you do?
ARTHUR: How do you do, good lady. I am Arthur, King of the Britons.
Who's castle is that?
WOMAN: King of the who?
ARTHUR: The Britons.
WOMAN: Who are the Britons?
ARTHUR: Well, we all are. we're all Britons and I am your king.
WOMAN: I didn't know we had a king. I thought we were an autonomous
collective.
DENNIS: You're fooling yourself. We're living in a dictatorship.
A self-perpetuating autocracy in which the working classes--
WOMAN: Oh there you go, bringing class into it again.
DENNIS: That's what it's all about if only people would--
ARTHUR: Please, please good people. I am in haste. Who lives
in that castle?
WOMAN: No one live there.
ARTHUR: Then who is your lord?
WOMAN: We don't have a lord.
ARTHUR: What?
DENNIS: I told you. We're an anarcho-syndicalist commune. We take
it in turns to act as a sort of executive officer for the week.
ARTHUR: Yes.
DENNIS: But all the decision of that officer have to be ratified
at a special biweekly meeting.
ARTHUR: Yes, I see.
DENNIS: By a simple majority in the case of purely internal affairs,--
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: --but by a two-thirds majority in the case of more--
ARTHUR: Be quiet! I order you to be quiet!
WOMAN: Order, eh -- who does he think he is?
ARTHUR: I am your king!
WOMAN: Well, I didn't vote for you.
ARTHUR: You don't vote for kings.
WOMAN: Well, 'ow did you become king then?
ARTHUR: The Lady of the Lake,
[angels sing]
her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite, held aloft Excalibur
from the bosom of the water signifying by Divine Providence that I,
Arthur, was to carry Excalibur.
[singing stops]
That is why I am your king!
DENNIS: Listen -- strange women lying in ponds distributing swords
is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power
derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical
aquatic ceremony.
ARTHUR: Be quiet!
DENNIS: Well you can't expect to wield supreme executive power
just 'cause some watery tart threw a sword at you!
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: I mean, if I went around sayin' I was an empereror just
because some moistened bint had lobbed a scimitar at me they'd
put me away!
ARTHUR: Shut up! Will you shut up!
DENNIS: Ah, now we see the violence inherent in the system.
ARTHUR: Shut up!
DENNIS: Oh! Come and see the violence inherent in the system!
HELP! HELP! I'm being repressed!
ARTHUR: Bloody peasant!
DENNIS: Oh, what a give away. Did you here that, did you here that,
eh? That's what I'm on about -- did you see him repressing me,
you saw it didn't you?
Next is the Black Knight where Arthur hacks off all of the limbs of the Black Knight and moves on the Black Knight says:
Oh, oh, I see, running away then. You yellow
bastards! Come back here and take what's coming to you.
I'll bite your legs off!
Next follows the Witch scene, that includes:
CROWD: A witch! A witch! A witch! We've got a witch! A witch!
VILLAGER #1: We have found a witch, might we burn her?
CROWD: Burn her! Burn!
BEDEMIR: How do you know she is a witch?
VILLAGER #2: She looks like one.
BEDEMIR: Bring her forward.
WITCH: I'm not a witch. I'm not a witch.
BEDEMIR: But you are dressed as one.
WITCH: They dressed me up like this.
CROWD: No, we didn't... no.
WITCH: And this isn't my nose, it's a false one.
BEDEMIR: Well?
VILLAGER #1: Well, we did do the nose.
BEDEMIR: The nose?
VILLAGER #1: And the hat -- but she is a witch!
CROWD: Burn her! Witch! Witch! Burn her!
BEDEMIR: Did you dress her up like this?
CROWD: No, no... no ... yes. Yes, yes, a bit, a bit.
VILLAGER #1: She has got a wart.
BEDEMIR: What makes you think she is a witch?
VILLAGER #3: Well, she turned me into a newt.
BEDEMIR: A newt?
VILLAGER #3: I got better.
Arthur receives his quest in a vision from God who is somewhat irritated:
GOD: Arthur! Arthur, King of the Britons! Oh, don't grovel! If
there's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
ARTHUR: Sorry--
GOD: And don't apologize. Every time I try to talk to someone it's
"sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy". What are you
doing now!?
ARTHUR: I'm averting my eyes, oh Lord.
GOD: Well, don't. It's like those miserable Psalms-- they're so
depressing. Now knock it off!
ARTHUR: Yes, Lord.
GOD: Right! Arthur, King of the Britons -- your Knights of the Round
Table shall have a task to make them an example in these dark times.
ARTHUR: Good idea, oh Lord!
GOD: 'Course it's a good idea! Behold! Arthur, this is the Holy
Grail. Look well, Arthur, for it is your sacred task to seek
this Grail. That is your purpose, Arthur -- the Quest for the
Holy Grail.
Arthur and his Knights are soon taunted by some Frenchmen in a castle, which includes the memorable:
GUARD: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal
food trough whopper! I fart in your general direction! You mother
was a hamster and your father smelt of eldeberries.
For me it is all down hill from here. I really don't get the Knights that say Nee, Tim the Enchanter, the Bridge of Death or the Rabbit.
Irrespective of the flat bits there are so many highlights that the film remains one of the all time classics.
Theatre Review: Spamalot
On Sunday 6th January we saw Spamalot with Catherine and Christopher.
This is the second musical version of a film that we have seen in the past three weeks. The other one was Priscilla.
The original movie was a bit of a Curates Egg, some parts were laugh out loud funny others fell flat. See my review of the film at this link.
Spamalot keeps most of the entertaining parts of the film and brightens up many of those sections that I did not find funny in the original.
It is pretty hard to mess up the discussion of swallows and coconuts, Bring-Out-Your-Dead, the anarcho-syndicalist commune, the God scene and the French taunting.
There are even some improvements. When Arthur looks up to God after being told not to avert his eyes, God tells him not to look up His skirt.
The story line is also simplified as Dennis (the anarcho-sydicalist peasant) becomes Sir Galahad and the Mortician becomes Sir Lancalot.
Sadly the Witch scene is deleted.
In the film the Camalot scene is very brief. Arthur says that is is a "silly place" and Patsy - his servant - notes that it is a model. In the musical Camalot has a much more extended scene where it is a casino with dancing girls and all the taudry glitz associated with casinos. Lots of fun though.
Many of the dull sections from the movie are brightened up. The second task of the Knights that say Nee is to put on a Broadway Musical which leads to lots of self-referential humour, and an extended new section on the need for a Broadway Musical to have a Jew in the cast. Tim the Enchanter is made more interesting as he hangs in the air "with no visible means of support". Naturally the lighting is arranged to make the ropes keeping him in the air only too visible. Even the rabbit is entertaining, as it is made very clear that it is a puppet, with the puppeteer visible after the Holy Handgrenade is thrown. This leaves "A CLUE", when a sign saying BONES revealed. Their resolution of this clue - which involves audience participation - is a fun new addition.
Another great addition is the Lady of the Lake, who lampoons the Broadway Diva. Her songs include: The Diva's Lament and The Song that Goes Like This, which, with exploding chandelier is a clear send up of Phantom of the Opera.
Bille Brown plays Arthur, with Stephen Hall as Sir Lancelot, Jason Langley as Sir Robin and Ben Lewis as Sir Galahad, Lucinda Shaw as Lady of the Lake ,and Derek Metzger's Patsy.
An entertaining and hilarious evening at the theatre.
This is the second musical version of a film that we have seen in the past three weeks. The other one was Priscilla.
The original movie was a bit of a Curates Egg, some parts were laugh out loud funny others fell flat. See my review of the film at this link.
Spamalot keeps most of the entertaining parts of the film and brightens up many of those sections that I did not find funny in the original.
It is pretty hard to mess up the discussion of swallows and coconuts, Bring-Out-Your-Dead, the anarcho-syndicalist commune, the God scene and the French taunting.
There are even some improvements. When Arthur looks up to God after being told not to avert his eyes, God tells him not to look up His skirt.
The story line is also simplified as Dennis (the anarcho-sydicalist peasant) becomes Sir Galahad and the Mortician becomes Sir Lancalot.
Sadly the Witch scene is deleted.
In the film the Camalot scene is very brief. Arthur says that is is a "silly place" and Patsy - his servant - notes that it is a model. In the musical Camalot has a much more extended scene where it is a casino with dancing girls and all the taudry glitz associated with casinos. Lots of fun though.
Many of the dull sections from the movie are brightened up. The second task of the Knights that say Nee is to put on a Broadway Musical which leads to lots of self-referential humour, and an extended new section on the need for a Broadway Musical to have a Jew in the cast. Tim the Enchanter is made more interesting as he hangs in the air "with no visible means of support". Naturally the lighting is arranged to make the ropes keeping him in the air only too visible. Even the rabbit is entertaining, as it is made very clear that it is a puppet, with the puppeteer visible after the Holy Handgrenade is thrown. This leaves "A CLUE", when a sign saying BONES revealed. Their resolution of this clue - which involves audience participation - is a fun new addition.
Another great addition is the Lady of the Lake, who lampoons the Broadway Diva. Her songs include: The Diva's Lament and The Song that Goes Like This, which, with exploding chandelier is a clear send up of Phantom of the Opera.
Bille Brown plays Arthur, with Stephen Hall as Sir Lancelot, Jason Langley as Sir Robin and Ben Lewis as Sir Galahad, Lucinda Shaw as Lady of the Lake ,and Derek Metzger's Patsy.
An entertaining and hilarious evening at the theatre.
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