Hitchins Limericks

I was listening to a podcast of an interview with Christopher Hitchins, who is a great raconteur and wit, so it was not surprising when he launched into the following set of (suggestive) limmericks:

A young engine driver named Hunt
Who was given an engine to shunt
Saw a run away truck
And by yelling out duck
Saved the life of the fellow in front.

Inevitablly, Hitchins, the New Athiest, included some anti-clerical ones as well.

The Bishop of Central Japan
Used to Rodger himself with a fan
And when taxed with these acts
He replied “It contracts, and expands
Rather more than a man”

A vice both obscene and unsavoury
Holds the Bishop of Barking in slavery
With lascivious howls he deflowers young owls
That he lures to an underground aviary

But the one the audience really wanted was this one!

There was a young hooker from Kew
Who filled up her pussie with glue
And said with a grin
Since they’ll pay to get in
They can pay to get out of it too!

If you are interested in more intellectual limericks, summarising Shakespeare, the Russian Revolution and Calvinism then try this post.